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Thomas Gough
7/23/2013 6:14:45 AM
Monday, July 22, 2013
Thursday, August 16, 2012
A lesson in humility and service...
On Wednesday evening the relief society president from our ward sent out a request for help. The ward that Thom and I have been blessed to be a part of for the past year is one that has taught me the value of service to others. This request was a tender one, there were 4 children in our ward that had been taken out of the home and were now needing a place to stay. Our hearts went out to these children! How can parents be so irresponsible to cause such pain to their children! I contacted the Relief Society president and let her know that if she could not find homes for the children, put us on the list. She had told me that there was a huge outpouring from members of the ward offering to help in anyway that they could and she would let me know if we would need to help.
The next day I got a call from her that once the social worker looked over the families they picked us to house the older 3 of the children. These are precious girls ages 12, 4, and 2. When the social worker saw that we had adopted they felt that our family would be sympathetic to the needs of the children. The youngest only 6 weeks old was placed with another family as our Bishop felt that putting all 4 children in one home might just be too much of a burden on anyone.
With great hesitation we accepted the call to serve these precious little girls. A social worker came to the house to see what the accommodations would be. Mind you, I did not have a lot of time to get the house ready but I did my best. She expressed her concerns and suggestions for making the transition easier on the children both ours and the ones that would be added to our home. Thom and I met at the children's shelter to get fingerprinted and complete the background check.
Once the paper work had been completed they walked us into what had to be a place that would demolish event the hardest of hearts. We were brought into the "receiving area" as they called it. Please picture a hospital built in the 1900's with no real decorations on the wall, the creaking of hospital beds being wheeled down an empty hallway, and the faint cries of a child just wanting to be loved. Ok so it was not in reality this grim but that is how it felt!!! Every eye in the room of the 15+ children that were in this holding area quickly locked with ours. The smallest glimmer of hope in their eyes that this would be their chance to get out of this dismal place. As Thom and I made our way to a table where we would be introduced to the children we would be taking home a young girl stole a moment with Thom. She reached out from the highchair that was holding her as there seemed to be no one who could dedicate time to just here. She had visible special needs and one of those was the need for some compassion. Thom patiently stood by her and held her hand with the most tender voice he tried to comfort her. This precious sprit took my breath away, and will hold a place in my heart forever! Reluctantly the little girl let go of Thom's hand as he was called over to our table. The social worker escorted a small brood of children toward our table.
The site was straight out of the movies. Walking toward us standing strong but with a look of desperation on her face was the oldest girl age 12. She had under each arm one of her younger sisters. These two small cuties were happy to introduce themselves and strike up conversations about their favorite toys and such. The older sister still with reservation began asking questions about us and our family. At one point when we showed her a photo on our phone of our children the smallest glimmer of a smile came to her face. She knew that she had a friend at our home. Sarah had befriended this girl at school over the past year and seemed to be relieved that she would have a friend as she navigated this road. We took a few moments for the children to hold their newest sibling a small yet handsome infant who never made a sound during our time at the shelter.
We brought the children to our home and instantly I could see the joy and excitement come to the faces of these children. Sarah, Emily and even Sean welcomed them into our home with open arms, and lots of toys to play with. As the evening progressed items for the girls were brought to our home to assist with the transition. Though I know that every day these beautiful spirits will be in our home will not be a picturesque as tonight was, but if we are able to keep those faces filled with joy and love instead of the desperation and sadness that was there when we met.
Once Thom and I had put the youngest 3 in bed Thom and I stole a few moments to just reflect on the events of the day. I think the general consensus is that it is hard for us to fathom how children like these are put into this kind of situation. With all the people in the world who would give nearly anything to be parents, why can't those that are parents cherish that wonderful opportunity! I know how hard it is to be a parent, and even a parent of a special needs child! I have had my days when I wanted to throw my hands up in the air and walk away. Those are the days when I walk inside, wrap my arms around my children and just let the genuine love and energy rub off on me. I now have the answer to what would I do if money were no object... I would do everything in my power to change the lives of as many children in need as possible. I don't know what that means but I know that it will be centered in love and the pure love of Christ.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Saving Money...
Saving money is the answer not the question. The question is how do you make it when you are now living on just one income. Over the past 3 months of being the HMIC I have learned many new ways to stretch our dollars. I have just begun to dabble in the art of extreme couponing.
My children LOVE to watch the show about the people who come home with BASKETS full of groceries and leave only paying a few pennies on the dollar. So we decided that we were going to try it. Every Tuesday after dark we walk the neighborhood to see who did not take their free newspaper inside. We collect at least 10 papers for their coupons. I have also found a dollar store that sells the Sunday paper for 1/2 the newsstand price on Mondays so I pick up 10 of these too. We also have a few mailers that come each week with some fun savings inside.
On Wednesday evening we gather all the coupons, organize, and clip. Once the kids go to bed I sit with the newspaper price ads and decide what coupons I am going to use. It is hard in our area to get great savings because NONE of the stores in Las Vegas double coupons like they do on TV. I look for items that are already marked down with my store card and then add the coupon savings ontop of that price.
Today was going to be my first truly extreme trip. My goal to get at least a 50% discount on my entire order with using my store card and coupons. I would be going to both of the major stores next to my house to try and make this happen.
I went to the stores armed with over 180 coupons, and over 300 items on my list. I enlisted the help of Emily since she did not have school today. We set out for the first store, Emily had fun picking out the 15 bags of candy for our trick or treaters. She did tell me that I bought too much, and she would be happy to eat the extras. I think her jaw got bruised when it hit the floor when I told her we needed to get 27 boxes of cereal. Every isle we walked down we looked for deals that were not listed in the paper. Pushing 2 baskets through each store, and adding multiples of many items we had on our list, people looked at us just as they look at the shoppers on the show.
The true excitement started when I got to the register each time. For the first time in over 20 years of shopping, they called for a back up cashier when I came up to the register. I began carefully unloading my baskets, grouping all of the like items together so that the coupons would be easy to sort. Once the last item had been scanned, I handed the clerk my store card. My heart skipped a few beats as I watched the total go down penny by penny. Once the store discount was applied, I handed over my stack of coupons. At one of the stores, the line of people behind me were a bit annoyed as it was close to lunch time and they only had a few items. This annoyance went away when the cashier announced "you saved 51% on your total today" and she said it loud enough that all the people smiled and I even had a few congratulations.
So what did this haul consist of? I find it interesting in watching those shows where they have 3 buckets in their pantry full of razors, make up, or even different deodorants. My baskets were full of items that we already use and even lucky for me the brands we like. My loot included over 20 packages of diapers and wipes, 27 boxes of cereal, 50 cans of soup, and 15 tubes of tooth paste and many more items. In total I came home with over 180 items, and spent less than 50% of the retail price for all of the items :) :) So did my hard work "pay off" you might ask. I spent 3 hours preparing, 3 hours shopping, and saved over $500. This means that I got paid almost $84 per hour for shopping today. That is the highest paying job I have ever had!
My children LOVE to watch the show about the people who come home with BASKETS full of groceries and leave only paying a few pennies on the dollar. So we decided that we were going to try it. Every Tuesday after dark we walk the neighborhood to see who did not take their free newspaper inside. We collect at least 10 papers for their coupons. I have also found a dollar store that sells the Sunday paper for 1/2 the newsstand price on Mondays so I pick up 10 of these too. We also have a few mailers that come each week with some fun savings inside.
On Wednesday evening we gather all the coupons, organize, and clip. Once the kids go to bed I sit with the newspaper price ads and decide what coupons I am going to use. It is hard in our area to get great savings because NONE of the stores in Las Vegas double coupons like they do on TV. I look for items that are already marked down with my store card and then add the coupon savings ontop of that price.
Today was going to be my first truly extreme trip. My goal to get at least a 50% discount on my entire order with using my store card and coupons. I would be going to both of the major stores next to my house to try and make this happen.
I went to the stores armed with over 180 coupons, and over 300 items on my list. I enlisted the help of Emily since she did not have school today. We set out for the first store, Emily had fun picking out the 15 bags of candy for our trick or treaters. She did tell me that I bought too much, and she would be happy to eat the extras. I think her jaw got bruised when it hit the floor when I told her we needed to get 27 boxes of cereal. Every isle we walked down we looked for deals that were not listed in the paper. Pushing 2 baskets through each store, and adding multiples of many items we had on our list, people looked at us just as they look at the shoppers on the show.
The true excitement started when I got to the register each time. For the first time in over 20 years of shopping, they called for a back up cashier when I came up to the register. I began carefully unloading my baskets, grouping all of the like items together so that the coupons would be easy to sort. Once the last item had been scanned, I handed the clerk my store card. My heart skipped a few beats as I watched the total go down penny by penny. Once the store discount was applied, I handed over my stack of coupons. At one of the stores, the line of people behind me were a bit annoyed as it was close to lunch time and they only had a few items. This annoyance went away when the cashier announced "you saved 51% on your total today" and she said it loud enough that all the people smiled and I even had a few congratulations.
So what did this haul consist of? I find it interesting in watching those shows where they have 3 buckets in their pantry full of razors, make up, or even different deodorants. My baskets were full of items that we already use and even lucky for me the brands we like. My loot included over 20 packages of diapers and wipes, 27 boxes of cereal, 50 cans of soup, and 15 tubes of tooth paste and many more items. In total I came home with over 180 items, and spent less than 50% of the retail price for all of the items :) :) So did my hard work "pay off" you might ask. I spent 3 hours preparing, 3 hours shopping, and saved over $500. This means that I got paid almost $84 per hour for shopping today. That is the highest paying job I have ever had!
3 months and going strong
I realize that I have not been posting as often as I would like. I sat down and realized that it has been 3 months since I made the transition from the HBIC to the HMIC. I am finally starting to feel like I am getting the hang of the new role. I have started to explore so many fun avenues of the HMIC.
My bread maker and I have a new relationship I am glad to see growing. I have had this bread maker for over 10 years and up until last month, I have only used it once. Our previous relationship was one of dust collecting and space hog.
I have found so many fun ways to make bread and with some fun ingredients. I have not bought bread from the store in over a month :) Thom loves it when he comes home and the house is filled with the smell of hot bread, we just have to be careful not to eat the whole loaf in one day. I even put my new found love for making homemade bread and dusted off my ice cream maker for an activity at our church. I entered my chili, chi spice ice cream, and honey oat bread in the cook-off and came home with first place for my ice cream. How fun to know that I have some good cooking skills, I shouldn't questioned that, my whole family has gained weight since I started cooking again :p
As the leaves have begun changing here in Las Vegas and the air has cooled down it feels like fall. I have wanted for many years to take the kids to a pumpkin patch to hunt for the perfect pumpkin. Being as we are not truly in an agricultural area we are limited on the selection of pumpkin patches. We found one that is a seasonal lot were they have a good selection as well as games and bounce house for the kids. Sean, Sarah and Emily took off running climbing on all the piles of pumpkins to find the one they wanted to take home. I am sure that I enjoyed the event more than they did, thanks kids for some great memories!
As we get closer to Halloween I find myself putting all the finishing touches on the costumes for my 3 kids and even Thom and I. We did have one rule for the kids costumes: The pieces must come from the thrift store. Over the 12 years I have been doing costumes for my kids, I have realized that I spend more on a costume than I do on their Christmas outfits all of which are items that they seam to only wear once. I have seen so many cute outfits at the thrift stores and so this was the mission. I am so excited to see these costumes come to life and look forward to posting the pictures of the finished products in a few days.
My bread maker and I have a new relationship I am glad to see growing. I have had this bread maker for over 10 years and up until last month, I have only used it once. Our previous relationship was one of dust collecting and space hog.
I have found so many fun ways to make bread and with some fun ingredients. I have not bought bread from the store in over a month :) Thom loves it when he comes home and the house is filled with the smell of hot bread, we just have to be careful not to eat the whole loaf in one day. I even put my new found love for making homemade bread and dusted off my ice cream maker for an activity at our church. I entered my chili, chi spice ice cream, and honey oat bread in the cook-off and came home with first place for my ice cream. How fun to know that I have some good cooking skills, I shouldn't questioned that, my whole family has gained weight since I started cooking again :p
As the leaves have begun changing here in Las Vegas and the air has cooled down it feels like fall. I have wanted for many years to take the kids to a pumpkin patch to hunt for the perfect pumpkin. Being as we are not truly in an agricultural area we are limited on the selection of pumpkin patches. We found one that is a seasonal lot were they have a good selection as well as games and bounce house for the kids. Sean, Sarah and Emily took off running climbing on all the piles of pumpkins to find the one they wanted to take home. I am sure that I enjoyed the event more than they did, thanks kids for some great memories!
As we get closer to Halloween I find myself putting all the finishing touches on the costumes for my 3 kids and even Thom and I. We did have one rule for the kids costumes: The pieces must come from the thrift store. Over the 12 years I have been doing costumes for my kids, I have realized that I spend more on a costume than I do on their Christmas outfits all of which are items that they seam to only wear once. I have seen so many cute outfits at the thrift stores and so this was the mission. I am so excited to see these costumes come to life and look forward to posting the pictures of the finished products in a few days.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Staring at the same screen...
I have stared at this screen for over 2 hours, I just can't seem to get out of this funk! I am at a loss here folks how does the world of SAHM's keep from going loony? Facebook has lost it's excitement, my email inbox has lost it's luster, and my iPhone is beginning to turn brown from lack of use :(
I need some inspiration, enlightenment, maybe some excitement I am not sure what I need but a saying my sister used to say is beginning to feel true:
"My name is un-important, I have no friends, and my favorite color is clear"
this is not me! How did I get here? Where did the spontaneous girl who jumps in the car on a Friday and shows up in Northern California unannounced go? I used to come up with the wackiest ideas for meals, family outings, even just a girls night out. Lately I am lucky to find inspiration to not make "mac-n-cheese" for dinner.
My poor husband and family are getting the shortest end of that stick! I mean how many days in a row can you eat a ham and cheese omelet? Wait don't answer that! So here I sit looking for inspiration. I have food network going on the TV, eHow going on one screen, and the Oriental Trading Company catalog in front of me. Please.... something pop off the page and light my fire! I can not subject my family to anymore of the un-exciting HMIC! I think they might soon go on strike.
I need some inspiration, enlightenment, maybe some excitement I am not sure what I need but a saying my sister used to say is beginning to feel true:
"My name is un-important, I have no friends, and my favorite color is clear"
this is not me! How did I get here? Where did the spontaneous girl who jumps in the car on a Friday and shows up in Northern California unannounced go? I used to come up with the wackiest ideas for meals, family outings, even just a girls night out. Lately I am lucky to find inspiration to not make "mac-n-cheese" for dinner.
My poor husband and family are getting the shortest end of that stick! I mean how many days in a row can you eat a ham and cheese omelet? Wait don't answer that! So here I sit looking for inspiration. I have food network going on the TV, eHow going on one screen, and the Oriental Trading Company catalog in front of me. Please.... something pop off the page and light my fire! I can not subject my family to anymore of the un-exciting HMIC! I think they might soon go on strike.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Learning to pick my battles...
This past week has been a rough one on me. It seemed like every time I turned around I was getting kicked, bitten, squished, tackled, stepped on, scowled at, woken up, hollered at, and man that was just Monday ;p I love my family dearly but this week was not one of those weeks.
I am learning that somethings are just better left alone (not really to fester and grow into a huge grudge where you want to scream at the top of your lungs so hard that your eyes feel like they are going to pop out of their sockets) than to try and deal with them when they happen. I am not sure why I continually put too much on my plate each day. I had NO idea that I would have MORE to do as the HMIC than I had working 2 full time jobs as the HBIC!
I am desperately trying to find a balance between the "silence" and loneliness found between the hours of 8am and 2pm. You know those caused by all the other members of the household that can carry on a real conversation are a work or school and all you are left with are the random babbalings of a two year old and the dogs. I have found it very hard to stay motivated this last week, causing a pile up in the evening of all the things that left untouched (mainly the dishes, laundry, and general house cleaning) and a frantic rush to accomplish as much as I can before my eyelids crash down on each other.
I am blessed to have a family that will try and help around the house. With my daughters it is like pulling a large ox in the opposite direction most times to get them to actually engage in the house work. My husband and brother in law are always willing to lend a hand, I just wish that I could learn to ASK for help BEFORE I am at my wits end. I feel like I am snapping at everyone, and in turn they snap back. This is a VICIOUS cycle that I am going to break and it is starting with me!
So here are the new goals for this week:
1) I am tackling only 1 major house project each day.
2) I will schedule time for me to go out of the house BY MY SELF and turn off my cell phone so I can truly be alone and left to my own devices.
3) I will ASK people to help me in advance or before I am feeling like the red eyed monster is ripping out of my skin.
There you have it, I have a plan! Lets see if I can make it work. I love my family, I don't want them to hate me because I can not keep this HMIC in check. Wish me luck!
I am learning that somethings are just better left alone (not really to fester and grow into a huge grudge where you want to scream at the top of your lungs so hard that your eyes feel like they are going to pop out of their sockets) than to try and deal with them when they happen. I am not sure why I continually put too much on my plate each day. I had NO idea that I would have MORE to do as the HMIC than I had working 2 full time jobs as the HBIC!
I am desperately trying to find a balance between the "silence" and loneliness found between the hours of 8am and 2pm. You know those caused by all the other members of the household that can carry on a real conversation are a work or school and all you are left with are the random babbalings of a two year old and the dogs. I have found it very hard to stay motivated this last week, causing a pile up in the evening of all the things that left untouched (mainly the dishes, laundry, and general house cleaning) and a frantic rush to accomplish as much as I can before my eyelids crash down on each other.
So here are the new goals for this week:
1) I am tackling only 1 major house project each day.
2) I will schedule time for me to go out of the house BY MY SELF and turn off my cell phone so I can truly be alone and left to my own devices.
3) I will ASK people to help me in advance or before I am feeling like the red eyed monster is ripping out of my skin.
There you have it, I have a plan! Lets see if I can make it work. I love my family, I don't want them to hate me because I can not keep this HMIC in check. Wish me luck!
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Putting the HMIC to the test...
There is always one true test of your skills as the HMIC.... your Mother In Law. I love my MIL I am blessed to have one that does not judge me, she supports me. Thom's mom and step dad came to visit for the Labor Day weekend. I frantically ran through the house, unpacked everything I could and cleaned up all the messes I could before she got here. I moved the kids rooms around to make a place for them to sleep and prayed that I would be able to keep up with everything while we had a house of 8 for 4 days.
I now know why on those '50s shows the kids are in bed so early, it is because the mom's are exhausted and need to go to sleep. My MIL is up before the sun, walks for 30 min, then comes home, makes breakfast for the whole house, and then makes sure everyone is ready for the day. She is nearly always in the kitchen and jumps up anytime someone even looks like they are hungry. By the end of the day she and I both were running on fumes and ready to crawl in a comfy bed to start it all again the next day.
While she was here, we celebrated John's birthday. The kids and I threw together an impromptu surprise party while he was taking a nap. Sarah and I watched a you tube video on how to do a basket weave decoration on cakes and then tried our hands at it. This was so fun to make a birthday cake with Sarah. The surprise went off with out a hitch and the homemade cards and yummy cake were a hit.
I think the hardest part of the visit was the cold reality of Sean's condition. With all the commotion of a house full of people, changes in routine, and just general fun of family visits Sean was beginning to get worn on. He had a meltdown worse that I have experienced to this point. It took over an hour to get him calmed down (luckily I had prelude in G minor on my iphone that calmed him down) and once I could assess the damage he had given himself a bloody nose and some pretty good bruises on his ribs and hips. My in-laws were able to realize that it is not a selfish request from me to have them come to our house instead of us travel to them. I wish we could travel, and hopefully once Sean is a little older we will be able to again. All in all the love and support from both sides of our family have made it possible for Thom and I to give Sean and the girls the love and life they deserve.
Now that all of our summer visitors have come and gone, I think I am safe to say...
I passed the test! My house is still standing, my kids are all healthy, the visitors all had a wonderful time. I think that next year I will have them spaced out just a little more.
I now know why on those '50s shows the kids are in bed so early, it is because the mom's are exhausted and need to go to sleep. My MIL is up before the sun, walks for 30 min, then comes home, makes breakfast for the whole house, and then makes sure everyone is ready for the day. She is nearly always in the kitchen and jumps up anytime someone even looks like they are hungry. By the end of the day she and I both were running on fumes and ready to crawl in a comfy bed to start it all again the next day.
While she was here, we celebrated John's birthday. The kids and I threw together an impromptu surprise party while he was taking a nap. Sarah and I watched a you tube video on how to do a basket weave decoration on cakes and then tried our hands at it. This was so fun to make a birthday cake with Sarah. The surprise went off with out a hitch and the homemade cards and yummy cake were a hit.
I think the hardest part of the visit was the cold reality of Sean's condition. With all the commotion of a house full of people, changes in routine, and just general fun of family visits Sean was beginning to get worn on. He had a meltdown worse that I have experienced to this point. It took over an hour to get him calmed down (luckily I had prelude in G minor on my iphone that calmed him down) and once I could assess the damage he had given himself a bloody nose and some pretty good bruises on his ribs and hips. My in-laws were able to realize that it is not a selfish request from me to have them come to our house instead of us travel to them. I wish we could travel, and hopefully once Sean is a little older we will be able to again. All in all the love and support from both sides of our family have made it possible for Thom and I to give Sean and the girls the love and life they deserve.
Now that all of our summer visitors have come and gone, I think I am safe to say...
I passed the test! My house is still standing, my kids are all healthy, the visitors all had a wonderful time. I think that next year I will have them spaced out just a little more.
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